About the Author

Because the image disturbs me, I'm going to skip my conception and go straight to my birth. I was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where I can only assume I was dropped on my head. In my entire life, I've met plenty of people who have moved from Winnipeg, but I've never heard of anyone moving to Winnipeg on purpose. Maybe it's cursed. Shortly after that, my parents and I moved to Toronto, Ontario. When I was two years old, my brother was born. We got along when we were younger, but now he hates me because when I was born I left all my flaws in the womb and he picked them up. Some boring stuff that I don't remember happened, and then we moved to Montreal, Quebec. I attended kindergarten in French-immersion, because in Quebec your only real choices are French or French-immersion because they're screwy like that. I never learned French though. From there, I moved to St. Albert, Alberta. Life went on, blah blah, then my parents divorced and I moved to Edmonton with my mom. My dad stayed in St. Albert which is really just a small tumor hanging off of Edmonton anyway, so I still get to see him. Currently, I'm still in Edmonton, living in my mother's basement because that's how awesome I am. I graduated from Harry Ainlay Composite High School in 2007, which is awesome since nobody likes school. Also, nobody likes me either, so the people still at the school were probably pretty stoked, too. At this point, I'm working for the City of Edmonton, with the hopes that one day I'll make enough money to study animation at the Art Institute of Vancouver. Who knows when that will be?

I can't write anymore because the rest of my life hasn't happened yet, but if it does I'll let you know.